Life without Marisa
by BEAST388
Summary: What happens to Ryan, Seth and Summer when there freind is gone can they survive there own self misery.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Not a day goes bye that Ryan hasn't thought of Marisa since the accident everything has changed in the beginning they stood in and empty house and talked about not having a future and right at the end they stood in the same empty house and didn't know what the future held but they held on to there dreams.

This was just a wake up call for Ryan he new there were no such thing as a dream coming true. One second he had it all a future a life worth living and now he wasn't even his old self, now it seemed he was just a shell of a man that could have been.

Seth was commuted for starting the fire at the Newport group for one year he had to do community service at his own personal hell witch is Harbor. Constantly being around all the people he hated trapped inside of a place he thought and hoped he would never see again.

He had thought that him and Summer would be on the east coast getting to know each other in a whole new way now was there time to grow as adults but now that was a distant memory Seth was subjected to still being bullied in high school turns out when your there for community service you have zero power or authority.

The only thing he had to look forward too was his weekly call from Summer and the occasional letter he would receive from her. In a way he was kind of relieved because Anna had secretly applied to the same art school that Seth had this didn't bowed well for his and Summer's relationship.

Summer played along for a couple months and then went into denial about what had happened to Marisa. Summer liked to think that her friend was off in Greece helping her dad cater on a boat. And to help make sure she had decided to take a page out of her best friends book and that was if you don't have all the answers drink more.

Summer had tried to make things work with Seth but all he could do was whine about how he had to stay in Newport and work at the school he wasn't even trying to understand her feelings about what had happened with Marisa she finally had enough and decided to leave for school early anything to get rid of all the memories of her friend.

Summer tried to keep in touch with Seth but she new the day would come when she would have to tell him about the new guy she had met.

Life wasn't good for every one but as you can see life is slowly moving on.

If you would like me to continue this as a regular fic let me know.

Thanks and I hope you enjoyed this.

Beast


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

I wasn't sure if I should keep writing this story. But since it has a fan I will try hopefully I'm going in the right direction with it. Thanks.

Beast

Chapter 2

Ryan's day was it normal go into the kitchen get cereal see the family and then back to the pool house for his daily cry since Marisa died he didn't have the fire any more it all just seemed pointless and mute. Kirsten was sitting at the table reading her paper Sandy was at the counter poring a cup of coffee oddly enough Seth was missing from this picture.

Hey son how are you this morning? Ryan just gives his normal grin and nods his head, Kirsten "Listen Ryan we know it's been a hard summer and that you opted not to go to first semester but well we think you should see a counselor" Sandy listen kid we get what happened and believe it or not we don't have the answers but we want to help you!

The three of them are staring each other down in the kitchen when a loud crash comes from the living room they all run to see what's going on when they see Seth scrambling towards the door and a broken vase on the floor.

Sandy: what are you doing?

Seth: listen dad I have to go to Rhode Island.

Kirsten: what on earth for.

Seth starts to get a dejected look on his face and is looking at his parents with a begging look as he searches for approval.

Sandy: absolutely NOT Seth do you realize the consequences of skipping out on probation look you have 3 ½ months to go if you flee now you could do actual jail time and not to mention the trouble your mother and I would be in!

Seth: Look (Seth holds out a letter) she's breaking up with me. Something's wrong mom dad I can feel it. Look I'll just be gone a couple of days! Dad please?

Sandy: I'm sorry Seth it'll have to wait.

With that Ryan turns and picks up his bowl and heads for the pool house. Feeling like he just dodged his own bullet Seth just save him from having to deal with Sandy and Kirsten about therapy. No sooner does Ryan sit down there is a knock on the door.

Ryan: come in.

Seth comes in dragging his feet looking as pathetic as possible he drops the letter into Ryan's lap.

Seth: read it man.

Ryan: I'm sure if Summer wanted me to read it she would have sent me my own copy!

Seth: Listen Ryan I know that your still hurting, but I really could use your help hear. So please read the letter.

Seth,

Listen this is going to be short and sweet. Since I've left Newport all I can think about is the past and well I've decided it's best if we don't talk or correspond anymore.

I know this is sudden and out of the blue but I can't do this any more.

Love

Summer XOX

Seth: so what do you think?

Ryan: I would just give her space man, sounds like she's trying to start healing again.

Seth: no it sounds more like a cry for help.

Ryan: Seth do you want anything else?

Seth: listen man I need you to do me a favor.

Ryan and Seth share an intense look.

Ryan: NO, I'm not going Seth.

Seth: please man. I can't go but you can be my eyes and ears all I need is to know why and how she's doing.

Ryan: you heard your parent's 3 ½ months then you can see for yourself.

Seth isn't backing down "listen Ryan Marisa died and you act like you're the only one doing time I need this please."

Ryan: we don't even know if your parents will let me!

Seth: Let's find out.

Seth and Ryan walk back into the kitchen.

Seth: Mom dad Ryan has agreed to go to Rhode Island for me! Is that ok?

Sandy: why don't you give your mother and I a moment to discuss this?

With that the boys go into the living room.

Kirsten: I don't know about this Sandy.

Sandy: it's perfect; this will give Ryan a few days away and a chance to breath. He hasn't left that pool house since we brought him home from the hospital.

Kirsten: how can we be sure this would do him good?

Sandy: trust me.

Kirsten: boys you can come back in here.

Sandy: you call us each day three times a day!

Kirsten: I'll go and book your hotel and airfare.

Ryan stands alone in the airport duffle bag over his shoulder and plane ticket in the other hand. He isn't sure where this journey is going to take him but as they call for his plane at the gate he stomps out his cigarette and walks back into the terminal to board.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As Ryan sat on the plane he watched all the other people board. Kirsten being Kirsten had booked him first class the row directly too his left had a couple that couldn't be much older than him they both seemed really excited that they were going on a trip, all he could here was, "how much fun they were going to have and how they couldn't wait".

All the talk of fun made Ryan sick.

Ryan kept fidgeting with his seatbelt he thought he was all clear and that he would have two seats to himself to take a nap. The sooner he got there and spoke with Summer the sooner he could continue on with his non-existence. Just as the stewardess was about to close the door a very attractive women entered the plain she must have been in her mid to late twenties sandy blonde hair green eyes.

"Oh this is me" she stood there looking at Ryan's coat he looked at her and she smiled at him Ryan grabbed his jacket off of her seat and turned to look back out the window " I hate flying" the women had mentioned to Ryan. Ryan gave his familiar grin and nodded his head then went back to looking out the window. "My names Rachel, so are you flying for business or pleasure?" Ryan looked back at her and very quietly "look I'm sure you're a really nice person and all I'm just not a real talker!" Rachel had bit of a surprised look on her face but she quickly shrugged it off you could tell she was a very upbeat person. "So are you having a bad day?" Ryan just shoots her a look and as he starts to speak "Look I'm pretty much terrified of flying and talking helps me relax!" Ryan takes in what she had just said. "My names Ryan, Ryan Atwood" he reaches out to shake her hand.

Rachel and Ryan spend most of the flight talking about themselves. Rachel had been visiting a prospect for a new club she was considering opening. Turns out her family own several high-end nightclubs mainly near major colleges!

So what brings you out east? Ryan thinks about Seth and Summer for a moment considering his options, "I have a friend going to brown!" Rachel "would that be a girlfriend?" Ryan can tell she's sizing him up. Yes it's a girl but we are just friends! The two share a glance. I've never had a friend fly all the away across the country just to visit me, She must be really special to you! She's my brothers girlfriend um ex well he asked me to visit her for him! Wow you must owe him pretty big to go this far for him?

Ryan looks at Rachel and realizes she's going to keep probing him on the subject. "Look my brother burned down a building a few months back, and then we lost one of our friends in a car accident, Seth that's my brother ended up having probation which didn't allow him to leave the state the friend that died was Marisa she was best friends with Seth's girlfriend Summer who is going to Brown it seems there having a falling out because she sent him a letter saying it's over and since he can't leave the state here I am!

Rachel takes all this in for a moment "wow I guess you have had a bad year?" Ryan yeah I guess things are just a par for the life I've had! Rachel feels bad for pushing the issue now "Ryan look I'm sorry if I pushed!" It's not your fault I guess, I don't know how this whole thing is going to turn out. "See I was driving the car that wrecked and Summer gave me a hug before she left but I could tell she blamed me for what happened."

If she is your friend Ryan she won't blame you! Those words didn't make Ryan feel any better about the situation seeing Summer would just defeat the whole reason Ryan was hiding in the pool house guilt, Guilt for killing Marisa, Guilt for destroying so many peoples lives and just guilt for still being alive.

Over the intercom the pilot announces the weather conditions and informs them to fasten their seatbelts to prepare for landing.

Well Ryan I hope all goes well for you and I'm sure once you see Summer you'll realize it's all in your head. I'm not sure about that Rachel! Well if you need a friend or someone to talk with here's my card you can normally find me there every night just ask for Rachel. Thanks, but I don't plan on being here very long. Well you know where to find me if you need anything. Ryan and Rachel share a hug in the airport and just like that she's gone.

Ryan opts to take a cab he hasn't been much of a driver since the whole accident Ryan decides to check into the hotel before going to visit Summer being on a plain for almost 8 hours is no way to spend the day.

Ryan steps out of the shower, he wipes the steam of the mirror as he stands there for a moment looking at his shoulder where he has a large scar from the accident he tilts his head to the left and can still see the scar on his head. Ryan walks into his Room and sits down on the chair next to the desk he runs his hands through his hair, tracing his finger over his scar on his head he is clearly starting to breath heavy as you see a tear fall from his eye.

A/N

I know my grammar sucks I have decided to keep this as my format I will try and get better hope you enjoyed this chapter.

I haven't decided what to do with this story yet as far as couples and pairings so for now I'm just going to focus on the pain.

Thanks and please keep the reviews coming I really do enjoy the feedback good, bad or constructive.


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